I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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