Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
