Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize