I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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