She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
