I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
