I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
