I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
