And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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