I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
