I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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