Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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