i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize