I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
