ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
