My room smells like vodka and shame
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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