he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
ttyl tear gas
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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