Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize