I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
