I am puke
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
