So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
