you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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