i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
