Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize