I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
