I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
