she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
