My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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