They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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