Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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