Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
