in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
