No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
