Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I want to fling myself into the sun
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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