I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
