Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
