I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
