You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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