I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
