Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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