your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
