is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
