If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
