you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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