Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Is it because I queefed?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize