ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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