watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
