Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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