Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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