Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
