I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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