Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We're not piercing ourselves today.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
