i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
is wine microwaveable?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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