so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
